But you don”t LOOK sick

  

 

Yesterday when me and my parents went out to dinner.

One of my moms adorable friends ran up to me gave me a side hug and enthusiastically exclaimed ! 

" I'm so glad they found what was wrong! And now your going to be all better!"

I gave her a confused look and

She enthusiastically replied. 

" The CANCER!, they found the cancer..,  and That's  what was causing all your health problems right?! Me and a Girl at work where just talking about this.. and you the other day and we are just so glad they found what was wrong and that your going to be ALL BETTER!" 

My amazing care taker / superhero of a mom quickly  told her

" The Cancer was just one of her  problems. Sadly, Not her only health problem." 

After my Mom said that my moms friends  face just dropped.

"My cheeks flushed red as I chuckled with Embarrassment and  responded. 

" Yep, the cancer was just an add on! I still have all my other health problems.. the cancer was actually sadly unrelated to them " 

This poor sweet  Women's eyes filled with sorrow, as you could tell she was struggling to find the words to say next. 

Then with a caring glance she stated.. " You poor thing!..  Well you LOOK SUPER HEALTHY.. You always have!" 

I quickly retorted  " thank you 😉 make up does WONDERS 💄 ! " 

The whole room chuckled, as I cringed internally. 

And even though that comment was made out of pure kindness. ( I have no anger towards that women. She is sweetheart)

But for a brief moment I wished that she  could see, the pain, nausea, and just the mountain of illness I face on a daily basis.

To be honest I believe Every spoonie/ sick person has internally cringed when they hear the all to often made comment

 " well you look healthy!"

Personally I am ETERNALLY grateful that I don't look as sick as I feel.  If I did I would NEVER get a date..

Or truly would never want to leave my house.. because I would look so awful that I would scare small children who saw me.

But when someone says "Well you look SO healthy!" 

" Or you don't LOOK sick" 

It feels like they are saying.

" Don't you have to LOOK sick to be sick?! "  

" You look GREAT. Are you truly sick?! Are you faking it? " 

Like in a strange sense the world believes that you have to " look" the part to 

 "Play" the part.  ( a part that you would NEVER ever choose nor want  to play!) 

That you can't possibly be sick, if your not coughing,

Sneezing, or wheezing ( at that moment)

Or if you don't have any physical medical devices showing, and/ or a shiny bald head.

Society literally has this super weird view that illness can only look a certain way.

But the thing that society doesn't understand or show is that illness isn't always visible.

It can be hidden behind very well thought out makeup. ( I've personally learned that the perfect concealer and blush combo can hide just about anything ) 

It can be hidden beneath the 

Smile of someone who is in extreme pain, but is trying there best not to stick out like a sore thumb in a crowd .

It can even be hidden beneath the skin of a body that looks fine,

But is internally falling apart.

Illness Can be hidden in a thousand different ways in a thousand different people. 

Like people.. illness doesn't fit in one mold.

It comes in every shape, size, form, and extreme

I didn't  write this blog as a rant to say " Don't you dare say I look healthy when I'm not!"

( If you did walk up to me and point out how sick and awful I looked.. Then  I would have the right to be offended 😉.) 

I didn't write this blog to trash that adorable lady. She did NOTHING wrong. 

I write this blog as a plea to always remember what the great philosopher Plato once said

" BE KIND for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle you know nothing about" 

We are all to quick to judge

The lady in Walmart who is using motorized shopping cart.. even though she doesn't " look" like she needs it.

We are all to quick to label others. 

We are all to quick to put are input and opinions into situations and people we know nothing about. 

This by far was the kindest " you don't look sick" situation I've ever been in.

( the worst one was when an old man in Costco was chastising and telling me to get out of the wheelchair I was using because I was "to young to need it".. and an old man like him should have it ) 

But if my illness has taught

me anything, it's that things, and people rarely are what they seem to be. 

So the next time you glance  an annoyed side eye at the women in Walmart who is using the motorized shopping cart.

  The next time your judging a person or a situation you know nothing about.

Remember the phrase " You don't LOOK sick"

Remember how ridiculous That statement is.

You can't LOOK into another persons life.

You can't see there struggles , and there story in a single glance.

All you can do when it comes to others. is CHOOSE how you are going to treat them.

And I urge you to treat everyone you meet with kindness. 

Because I promise you, Everyone truly is facing a hard battle,

That you will know absolutely nothing about.

Stay strong, treat others with kindness, and Always SMILE ON ❤️