The Life of Me, Smile Magee :)

I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t go see his parents. My church was having an activity where we were visiting the parents of a member of our ward .. a friend of mine.. who died not even 5 months prior to due to complications of Lyme Disease. And just thinking of seeing his parents.  Made my heart stop and my hands shake. Because I felt Guilty. And I hated myself for how guilty I felt. Because he was in a good spot when it came to his health.  He had a girlfriend who he adored and had fallen in love with. His life was seemingly coming together. But after months of a constant health decline. I was alive,  and he wasn’t. And because of that.. I Couldn’t even imagine looking his parents in the eyes. It’s not like, I wanted to die. That a part of me was jumping up and down , demanding my turn with the reaper. It’s the exact opposite.  In my opinion the majority of those who have life threatening diseases. Spend 90% of our time ,  In a full blown sprint.