The Life of Me, Smile Magee :)

      Yesterday when me and my parents went out to dinner. One of my moms adorable friends ran up to me gave me a side hug and enthusiastically exclaimed !  " I'm so glad they found what was wrong! And now your going to be all better!" I gave her a confused look and She enthusiastically replied.  " The CANCER!, they found the cancer..,  and That's  what was causing all your health problems right?! Me and a Girl at work where just talking about this.. and you the other day and we are just so glad they found what was wrong and that your going to be ALL BETTER!"  My amazing care taker / superhero of a mom quickly  told her " The Cancer was just one of her  problems. Sadly, Not her only health problem."  After my Mom said that my moms friends  face just dropped. "My cheeks flushed red as I chuckled with Embarrassment and  responded.  " Yep, the cancer was just an add on! I still have all my other health problems.. the cancer was actually sadl

( this post was previously published on www.sickchicks.com) I was raised in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. For as long as I can remember, I was taught that I was a Child of God, that the Heavenly Father loved me, that life had a purpose and a plan, and that my worth was divine. But that knowledge and those answers weren’t truly mine until I became sick. When I got sick, for the first time in my life, I questioned my faith. I questioned if there was a point to this life, if my pain could have a purpose, and why bad things happened to good people. I questioned if God truly loved me, (because if he loved me why would he let me be so sick?) if my illness was some sort of wrath filled punishment, because I wasn’t “good enough,” or if He just didn't care that I suffer. I honestly got to the point where I questioned if there was even a God at all. As I began this eight year long quest to find a diagnosis, I went on a simultaneous one to find/ get to kno