The Life of Me, Smile Magee :)

Last summer, I had a TERRIBLE, painful,  awful  cough that just wouldn't go away. At first my pulmonologists  guessed it was my windpipes collapsing, or possibly incredibly bad asthma. But through scans and testing, and treatments none  of the diagnosis's seemed to be right, and the cough just wouldn't go away. I ended up having to get a bronchoscope.   Which is a procedure where they shove this giant tube with a little camera on it. either down your nose, or throat, and feed it into your lungs. And do an array of test that involve, watter, coughing, and a bunch of other unpleasant things. This procedure is typically done under "twilight sedation".  Which means you are "awake" during the procedure. But so drugged and out of it you aren't really aware, don't feel pain or discomfort, and don't remember an ounce of the procedure when you "wake up".   But since my life apparently runs by "Murphy's law. " My par...

  When I was at the Mayo Clinic for 7 weeks last year. I went determined that I was going to meet an adorable guy who was also riddled with life threating illness, and  that was going to be my silver lining to my...  "Travel out of state for medical care because I'm litterally dying hospital stay" But when I got to the Mayo Clinic I was pretty sure I was the only person under the age of 70 that was being treated there.   I felt like I may be the only young adult in this faculty, possibly even in My side of the hemisphere that was dealing with my type of health issues. That was until one faithful day in the infusion waiting room I met Rachael She had a big brown eyes, an even bigger smile, She was 2 years younger than me.  Super spunky  Loved dogs And was a fellow IV dependent medical mystery. From the moment we met an instant friendship was formed. We would schedule our IVs on the same day, ask to share a hospital room  and jus...

So I felt inspired last night and today and I wrote this little poem. It's about all the people. Who have told me that I can't do things  and I won't accomplish much because  of my illness,  it's about the teachers who use to ridicule me In class, and say that I was stupid ( because of Brain fog).  And Or that called me a slacker ( because of I had physical limits)  It's about everyone who has made me feel small and unimportant, because I'm Sick. And my experience with that  This poem is  real, and it's raw.  But so is life  Sharing  my poetry is always kind of terrifying. . Honestly sharing anything I write is kind of terrifying because it comes from a raw and emotional place  But I hope my story can help others. I hope you enjoy this poem. Remember the only person who can stop you. Is you. And always smile on  Butterfly  I was born with broken wings But my mom raised me to believe that I could fly  ...

  Today was my first "outing" since cancer surgery #2.  Being the incredibly vain person I am 😂 I had to have the perfect shoes to go with my "I'm actually leaving the house" outfit. as I was sitting on the floor going through My shoe bucket  ( yes I have a shoe bucket😜)  And completely putting strain on the poor giant scar on my back. I found my old ballet slipper . And when I saw it.. I couldn't help but smile. My body has always been broken. But when I was younger, and healthier.  One of my favorite things in This world to do was to dance ballet. I was far from talented  And even further from graceful  But dancing made me feel like I was in a small way overcoming my greatest weakness.  At the studio.. When I would see older dancers, I would notice that their ballet slippers were always completely beat up. Full of holes, black Marks, and scuffs  And I wanted ballet slippers that looked just like theirs. To me beat up ballet shoes were the...