Lessons learned while " Dizzy Dancing" :)

 Before a dance most 19 -20 something's biggest worry before they go to a dance, is what outfit they are going to wear.. My biggest worry was making sure I don't faint do to a possible increase in inter-cranial pressure! 

Let me give you  a little  back story. 

As you all most likely know the latest bodily mystery my doctors are trying to solve is why I can't see out of half of my right eye.. They know my very swollen optic nerve is causing the lack of vision. But it's yet to be discovered what is causing the very swollen optic nerve. My eye doctor told me to look out for and text him if I experience anything like , eye pain, more vision loss, or neck pain near my hairline.  And sure enough on Thursday I began to feel an ache on that spot, which on Friday evolved to this pain that I can only describe as being like severe whiplash. 

I sent a text to my eye doctor, ( hoping and praying this pain wasn't related to the eye thing because I had plans to go to a dance on Saturday) and he responded that it defiantly could be eye related.. And he was worried that I had increased intercrainal pressure, and that I needed to not over exert myself.. But of course being the over outgoing girl I always have been, I asked him if if would still be ok if I went to the dance on Saturday night. He responded that I could.. I just couldn't do anything to crazy. 

So I sent a text to one of my best friends I was going with ( who is coincidentally training to be a nurse) explained the situation to her, and asked her if she would have the sole responsibility to make I don't do anything stupid. And believe me that is a tall order! I am an expert at stupid!

So tonight we set on the 20 minute drive to our adventure. Every single dance I've been to before this,  I've end up medically putting myself out because I want to keep up with my healthy Friends.. I have lost a good amount of friends due to my illness,  and each dance I've been to Ive almost tried to prove to myself that I was one of the healthy ones, by  pushing my aching body to its max physical capacity.
But I finally relaized. Something tonight that I wish I would have realized a Long time ago.  True friends don't care if your healthy or sick,  They Keep you around just because there a fan of you. The great friend I came with tonight, was actually the one who grabbed me a couple times as my steps teetered, (when I was trying to hide that my head/ neck was killing and my world was literally spinning at the moment.)   And got me to sit down and just talked as my world came back to normal view. 

She could of just left me on the curb, and went on her merry way.. But she wasn't feeling put out buy the " sick kid", She didn't pitty me 

She just genuinely cared about me as a friend.  My illness is my biggest insecurity,  And  That small act of kindness she did honestly meant the world to me.
It's who you are, Not your health, or lack of health that determines the amount of true friends you will have. It's a fact that Peoples true colors come out when your facing a difficult situation.
When that big life batltle comes, Some people who you thought were close to you, will leave your side. But surprisingly enough, even when those few leave, you will still have an army of people left who love you, are cheering you on, and will help you through anything 

In all honesty A lot of my deepest friendships have been strengthen or made post illness. 

 Maybe it's us, who stamp are greatest trial to our four head, and think we are unapproachable because of it.
After tonight I honestly think that Those we love don't necessarily see our trail, they just see us.as who we are. 

I hope to remember what I learned " dizzy dancing" for a very long time.  

Love yourself, Accept yourself, and smile on.